OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My bed is full of blood and feathers
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
