My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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