taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize