then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
