My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
