how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
