capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
