We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
