i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
