I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
