This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
