There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I could fuck to npr.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize