Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
