What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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