I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
