i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
