Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
