I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
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I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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