I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
