We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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