So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Can I color on your dick again?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
