do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I would ride that face into the sunset
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
