If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
