I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
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my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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