the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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