____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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