my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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