I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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