I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
