Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
