Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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