My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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