just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
