??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
