Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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