Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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