It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
