we have officially lost it.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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