maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
