walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
