i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
