Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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