I'm passing your future prison.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
tell me about the eggs
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
