i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
