It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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