Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(716): View more from New York

fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.

Fav 1 883 1067
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(775): View more from Nevada

god, a vagina is an amazing trump card

Fav 6 3846 751
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(614): View more from Ohio

i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free

Fav 33 4535 949
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(636): View more from Missouri

My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.

Fav 5 3888 748
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(256): View more from Alabama

Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk

Fav 33 4646 1614
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card

Fav 19 6070 1283
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.

Fav 3 1638 3338
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(317): View more from Indiana

I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.

Fav 5 1705 745
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...

Fav 1 47 12
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