She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
