imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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