i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
