I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
