That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
