he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
