my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
