I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Michael Bay diarrhea
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
