I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
