i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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