is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
