I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
