I heard we made out
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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