He uses pillows to masturbate.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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