New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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