I wish I only lived at night.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
