I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
