When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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