I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
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As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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