dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You left your phone here
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